| Mostly, these pages describe Customs, accepted ways that mark the knowledgeable member of the community. The IM practices ought to be regarded as Rules. A Dom who disregards them is either a total novice, or a Troller who's up to no good. The new sub who does not insist on these rules is forgoing an important protection against such Doms |
|
What are the customs about IMs?
Doms do not IM subs, and subs do not IM Doms, without asking permission openly, in the room. It might go:
It's partly for subs' protection. Dom predators often IM sub after sub looking for victims, or pester subs with repeated IMs. This is called trolling. It is cut down if everyone must ask openly first. |
| Many subs (and Dom/mes) have a "Don't IM without asking" notice on their ID card (often in the Email slot). I highly recommend such notices. But the Ask-first rule applies unless a ID card specifically invites IMs. |
|
What do I do if a Dom IMs me anyway?
Either he's forgotten his manners, or more likely, he's a predator, troller, or "Dom wannabe". In any case, remind him politely. Here's me in my sub days:
* Did a Dom really say that, about who was in charge? Not to me, actually, but yes, someone claiming to be a Dom did say that to a sub. Total ignorance is a givaway that you're not dealing with a true Dom. |
|
Must I ask permission if I want to IM a Dom?
Yes. And what about IMs to subs? Be guided by what the sub's ID says. Be aware that a sub may have instructions from a Master or a Protector about IMs. |
