How do I find a Master?     The same way one finds a life partner irl.   Newcomers often seem to assume there's some magic here, but there isn't.   You get about the D/s rooms, study the customs, make friends, and let others get to know you.     Oh, and use caution and common sense.   There are sharks out there who prey on the unwise and the impatient. If you haven't read my "Shark-Infested Waters" warning, click on the beastie at right.

Must I obey any order from my Master? What are the limits of a Master's authority?     There are three accepted limitations on D/s activity.   It must be Safe, Sane, and Consensual.   Nothing should be done or required that either party believes is beyond these limits.     Before you take a Master, you and he come to agreement on the terms you both will abide by.   The result ought to be a formal Contract.   We won't discuss here all that should go into a Contract, but the limits of the Master's authority certainly are included.

How do I tell a good potential Master from the creeps and wannabes?     Take the time, and make the effort, to check each of the following: Is he a regular?   Or does he just show up where you are? Is his ID filled out, and does it indicate that he's a Dom and give any D/s connections?   An empty or sparse ID may mean that "Dom" changes names, perhaps to escape from a poor reputation.   Or maybe he spends most of his time in Vanilla rooms, only coming to D/s for a little sport. What do your sister subs say about him?   They are your very best source of info. If you have a Protector or Trainer, get that Dom's opinion. If he shows interest, does he try to rush you?   A responsible Dom will want you to be sure, and respect your caution. When you get to the discussion stage, is he patient, and willing to discuss your questions and concerns at length?   A Dom should be willing to take time and care to reach an initial understanding that both parties are comfortable with.

How do I know if a Dom is the right Master for me?     Nothing between humans, real or virtual, is certain.   But you are asking the right question.   Are your needs and his a good match?   Are you both interested only in vp, or in a r/l relationship as well?   Do you want an experienced Dom, or is one who is learning acceptable?   And so on.     Your chances are much improved by an adequate "courtship" period. Courtships vary from casual to formal, with the parties declaring their intentions on their IDs.   A courship of several weeks to several months is IMHO a very good idea.     In the final stage, working out, carefully, a written agreement or contract is important!   Doing this makes you consider things with care.   Each of you will learn about the other, and about yourself, in the process.