Here we discuss a sad subject.   A Master and sub have reached the point where one or both wishes to terminate the relationship.   Presumably they have tried to resolve their problems,  and perhaps have sought outside help without avail.     A Master ends the partnership by giving the sub her Release.   This is formally simple to do,  but a Dom who Releases subs casually is considered irresponsible.    A sub who wishes a termination has three avenues: her Master may release her upon her request; she may Release herself; she may seek assistance. The first alternative is much to be preferred.   A Dom should always Release a sub who truly wishes it.     Things may go more smoothly if the pair have a Contract with a proper Release clause.

The root of the matter is this:   D/s is consensual; a partnership ends when either partner no longer consents to it.

A Master may refuse a request for Release,  hoping the sub will not persist.   Such a case might proceed like this:     sadsub: Master,  please grant me my Release. SirStubborn: No,  not until we've talked. sadsub: Master,  we've already talked it to death.   Please Release me. SirStubborn: No!   You'd regret it tomorrow! sadsub: Please,  Master ... SirGreyhair: sadsub,  do you still desire your Release? sadsub: Yes Sir,  i do. SirGreyhair: Stubborn, do you persist in refusing sadsub her Release? SirStubborn: I do!   She needs me! SirGreyhair: Then sadsub, you may Release yourself. SirGreyhair was not necessary,  but sadsub felt the need for outside support.   At this point he will advise her as she makes her Release statement.

It is good form for a sub (or Dom) who announces a Release to state to the room her (or his) reasons.   However, this is not a requirement and it is understandable if, under these stressful circumstances, a party feels unable to do so.

The custom that a sub asks for a Release and that a Master may then refuse is sometimes abused by a sub.   She may request a Release as a way of emphasizing her unhappiness over some issue.   It is unwise to ask for what you don't want!   A Dom may grant a Release rather than be,  as he sees it, manipulated.   Subs have come to regret bitterly having made such requests.

Sometimes a sub may need extensive help,  such as in cases of abuse,  threats,  or abandonment.   In this sort of trouble seek out the most senior and respected Dom or sub you can find.   If necessary that person may convene a Dom/sub Council to assist.   The community strongly supports a sub in such circumstances.

Background by shevette